Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I love having hate sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
