Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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