I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
