shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I should be sponsored by Trojan
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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