The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
