We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
