So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
its not stalking. its research.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
