Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize
