The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
