Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
