Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
