I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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