We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
