Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
