I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
