I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
