I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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