Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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