I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
