Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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