I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
