we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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