She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
