guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
