1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
