i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
