I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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