I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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