i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
