We won't sleep together?
I CAN MOONWALK!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
