that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
