I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
