I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
