he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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