what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
