I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
