Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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