My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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