Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
40s are totally the cure
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
