It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
