If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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