Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
