Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
