don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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