he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
