By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
