dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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