Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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