the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
