I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
