In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
