i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just pee around me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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