this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
